Thriving In Tough Times

Have you ever gone through tough times? Have you ever felt like your life was out of control? Like you were in over your head? I’ve definitely been there, done that. In fact, I’ve been going through an especially challenging time in my life the past few months. Though I still have to keep my nose to the grindstone, I am beginning to have hope that life will be normal again. In the midst of the chaos, though, it can be tough!  It is REALLY easy to throw yourself a pity party, feel like the world is out to get you, or even become depressed and lose hope. Ever been there? Are you there now?  I just wanted to take a minute to share my journey these past few months (and throughout my life), in hopes that it might encourage someone else.

Over the years, I have learned that while I can’t control the circumstances around me, I can control myself – and my response to those circumstances (thank you Danny Silk!). While that sounds so “simple” it doesn’t always FEEL simple when you are in the midst of difficult times. So, on a practical level, what does that look like in my life?

1. Take time to make healthy food. This is one of my top priorities!  I don’t often have time during the week to cook right now. So, I’ve been spending time on Sundays making 2 main meals, breakfast, and a snack. I package it all up in my pyrex and Tupperware containers, and I’m good to go. It is AMAZING what a difference having healthy, prepared food has made in my week. Despite having a crazy schedule, I can still have real, hot meals. Healthy food makes my body and emotions happy. I’m not spending a ton of money on quick alternatives. I don’t have to stress about where to find my next meal – and I’m not running on empty. I’m a foodie, so I love to eat well. I also love to be creative. Taking one day a week to make food allows me the opportunity to fulfill both of those needs (even when the majority of my schedule wouldn’t normally allow it).
2. Take time to exercise. I’m still working on this one during the week, but I’ve made this a point for my weekends (when I do have a little more time). My mind, my body, my emotions are so much happier when I do this. Not only is it good for my physical health, it’s fun! I love to explore and have adventure. So, why not check out new snowshoeing trails and state parks while I’m exercising?!?!
3. Listen to worship music – riding in the car, spending time worshiping at home, listening to worship music while working (when possible). Not only does worship music keep my thoughts and attitude in line, having a focused time of worship feels similar to going for a good, long run….but on the inside of me. :) Allowing my spirit to connect with Jesus brings peace, joy, rest, and a deep fulfillment to my heart and mind.
4. Dream. Even when I’m insanely busy, life is SOOO much more manageable if I’m taking time to pursue my dreams, passions, interests, and hobbies.  There are seasons of life when I can pursue my dreams and goals more heavily than others, but I can always take baby steps toward a dream. For example, I have a desire to write a book. I can take a day or two out of the week to write on my blog. I want to read a book every two weeks. Even when I’m crazy busy, I can read a chapter or two out of a book most days.  Taking time to make my food once a week allows me to pursue health, find a creative outlet with trying new recipes, manage my budget, etc. Exercising (even if it’s only on the weekends currently) has allowed me to check off a few items on my wish list – trying different snowshoe trails, traveling to nearby cities, etc.
5.  Lean into Jesus 
1.  Spending time hanging out in His presence and resting in His peace. (soaking)  I’ve even been known to spend my lunch breaks doing this.
2. Asking Him how He feels about me, my circumstances, or the issues I’m stressing about. It is sometimes quite eye-opening to hear HIS truth over the lies and stress going around inside my head.
6. Prophesy over my day – listen to what Jesus has to say about my day, and declare it. Watch and be open to what He is doing. This is so much fun! It’s a great way to practice hearing God’s voice and learn how He speaks.  I have often found that though things may happen differently than I expect, it’s often exactly what He said. This practice keeps me focused on what God IS doing, rather than on what He is NOT doing. I have just started doing this on a daily basis. Due to my challenging life situation lately, I was inspired to start prophesying every day. What a difference it has made! I have seen major breakthrough already, and I know more is coming!
7. Be thankful. When life gets crazy it is REALLY easy to criticize, grumble, and complain. I have often found that road only takes me down a deep, dark hole – typically leading to self-pity or feeling like a victim. When I choose to be thankful or find the good in the situation, I’m not giving my circumstances power over me -- and I'm giving God permission to bring the good out of the bad

I realize I may have a simple life compared to some. I’m single. I don’t have kids. I don’t even have any pets! It may seem easy to some of you.  Though our circumstances and challenges may not be the same, we can still feel overwhelmed by life – whatever our responsibilities might be. Take some time to ask yourself: What CAN I do in my life right now? It might feel as though you are powerless and have no control. But you can always do SOMETHING, even if it’s little. What can you do to become powerful in your life? What steps can you take to be proactive, rather than reactive? It might take some time, but I can tell you…it’s worth every bit of effort and discipline on your part! We were made to live and thrive – not just survive.

An Epiphany on Epiphany Day

Yesterday, I felt like God gave me a flash of insight into what He must feel at times. Don’t you love those moments that make you want to laugh, feel better about life, and cry all at the same time?  Looking back, I’m so thankful for the insight…but I still have to say “ouch!”

I’ll try to explain this as best I can without revealing the other parties involved in the situation. Hmmmm… So, I work as an Admissions recruiter at a satellite campus for our university.   I’m new to my position, so I’m still learning how things roll in this world.  I’ve also been EXTREMELY busy lately.  Though I’m new, I’ve been tasked with recruiting a couple of extra cohorts (new groups starting our programs), and ALL of my cohorts start in the next month or two. I’ve put in A TON of HOURS since Thanksgiving (minus Christmas break) – oodles of hours of overtime – to do my best to recruit these cohorts.

Honestly, I wasn’t super excited about the task initially. It felt extremely overwhelming.  I had to learn all of the programs, clean and organize files for programs that hadn’t been recruited for months, get everything ready in my new cabin, move into my cabin, start a new job in a new city, etc. You get the picture. On top of it all, I also planned a big event for our site right before Christmas.  Lots going on, that’s for sure.  I think I’ve only had one other time in my life that equaled how I’ve felt through these past couple of months – but that particular time only lasted 3 weeks. This is 3 months. (I guess there’s a sign of increase right there! Ha!)

Through the experience, however, God has really been working on my heart. I mentioned in my first post about going through a process of resurrection life. Well, this is part of the process. I’ve realized I have faith and “dealing with hard issues” muscles I hadn’t exercised in quite some time.  And we all know what it feels like to start exercising when you haven’t done so in a long time. Yup. It’s painful. 

But God definitely knows how to bring all that back in a hurry!  In the midst of everything going on, I realized pretty quickly that the only way I was going to survive these few months was to lean into Him. I had to turn all of my affection to Him and deliberately choose to let the stress go, hand it all over to Him, ask Papa God what He thinks about me, listen to what He says every day and declare it, pull out the lies from my brain and replace it with the truth, etc. Sometimes faith is HARD WORK. But in the long run, it brings peace. And rest.  It’s like striving for rest. Seems like an oxymoron, but that’s how it works. I can’t strive to carry my workload by myself. It might kill me. Literally.  But I can do my best every day, and strive to stay in tune with Jesus.  He is my only hope.

Though I still have a ways to go in this process of relearning and reusing these faith muscles, I feel like I have experienced a remarkable change – even in the past few days. That is where my “ouch!” moment comes into play. I’d been feeling something build in me for a few days. I wasn’t sure what the issue was, but I know it reached a boiling point yesterday! I actually got angry! (Not a typical emotion for me). Even then, I still wasn’t totally sure what was going on.   It wasn’t until I had a heart to heart with my boss that I finally figured it out: We were having issues with follow up because people didn’t believe we would have enough students to start a group. And (through lots of tears) I said “if we’re going to make this happen, we all have to be on the same team!”

Well, needless to say, my boss did a superb job of handling the situation.  I felt much better after processing through everything and letting it all out.  As I walked into the bathroom to “repair myself,” I had my epiphany. I instantly had this intense impression/feeling, and I heard God say “Audra, that’s how I feel sometimes.  I am working FOR you! I’m working overtime (or all the time…) on your behalf! (I immediately thought of the phrase from Isaiah 40:28 ‘He will not grow tired or weary…’).  But we have to be on the same team!  It’s not helping anything for me to be working on your behalf, if you are grumbling, complaining, talking bad about things, etc. (aka operating in unbelief). I need you to work WITH me. Believe WITH me. Have hope WITH me. Receive what I have for you, even if you can’t see the full picture or the end result right now. If you aren’t for me, you’re against me.”

Ouch. 

My second revelation came at the end of the day. My boss jokingly made the comment “Audra has this thing about failure not being an option.” It was funny. We laughed.  Later, however, I clarified that statement: “I’m ok with failure….I’m just not going to believe for it. If I fail, I fail…and I’ll deal with it. But I’m going to run the race believing I’ll win. Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. I’m not out for a fun run.”

Preparing For Increase

(written Sunday night, Jan. 4th)

 

Wow. I just had my mind blown. And in a way I never would have expected!

First, a bit of background. I’ve spent quite a bit of time hanging out with Jesus in the past few days – adding to my dream list, writing down what I specifically wanted to do for 2015, asking God about His thoughts for this next year, etc. For a little while now, I’ve been feeling that this year is going to be a year of abundance, of increase. I can’t even tell you how it started; I just know it has been a theme lately. I know some of it was initiated by the purchase of my house – and what I felt God was speaking to me about this next season of my life. I also spent two full days in December baking for a work event. While I was baking, I listened to an entire sermon series on the “Purpose of Prosperity” by Bill Johnson. (I know what some of you may be thinking – this is just another Prosperity gospel gimmick. I can assure you, that is not what Bill spoke about. In fact, he is not a huge fan of those messages himself.)  Throughout the series, I felt God confirming a message in my heart regarding a desire to transform our society, our culture, our nation.  He has placed us on this earth to steward it – which includes resources and wealth, among other things.  In November (right before I bought my house), I went to a Lance Wallnau conference in Chicago. Lance’s life message is all about the 7 mountains that shape our culture. It’s fascinating – but too much for me to go into or try to explain right now.  Needless to say, all of these things come down to this: it often takes MONEY to make our way up the mountain and influence culture.

I’m sure that paragraph doesn’t adequately explain what has been going on internally for me the past few months, but at least you have a bit of a background regarding this theme in my heart.  Then, as I was reading Psalm 65 yesterday, the 2^nd half of the Psalm was highlighted to me:  

“You care for the land and water it;

You enrich it abundantly.

The streams of God are filled with water

To provide the people with grain,

For so you have ordained it.

You drench its furrows

And level its ridges;

You soften it with showers

And bless its crops.

You crown the year with your bounty,

And your carts overflow with abundance.

The grasslands of the desert overflow;

The hills are clothed with gladness.

The meadows are covered with flocks

And the valleys are mantled with grain;

They shout for joy and sing.”   Psalm 65:9-13

It summed up most of what I have been hearing and feeling for the past few months! And I felt as though God was highlighting this passage to help me prepare for the coming year.

Though I know increase can come in many ways (not just monetarily), I've also been thinking – I need to learn something about investing, because I know NOTHING about that subject. Luckily, I had a book on my “2015 dream list” I had been inspired to read in light of this new theme: Rich Dad, Poor Dad. I originally heard about it while I was at Bethel’s School of Ministry in Redding, CA. A friend of mine spoke very highly about the book, and even did some consulting and training with their company.  I had very little interest in the book at the time, but I happened to find it at a used bookstore in Tahoe a number of years ago. I bought it for $3, and it’s been collecting dust on my shelf ever since.

I’d already been inspired to pull it out and read it this year. After my God time yesterday (and reading Psalm 65), I was motivated to read it a little sooner than I originally planned. And can I say…it was amazing!!!! I think part of the reason I haven’t read it all these years is because I thought it would be boring. Maybe it is to some…but I could hardly put it down! I started reading the book last night around 8:00 pm. I read until 1:00 am, and finished it today. And I feel like my world is about to change. 

I know I still have a lot to learn about investing, but this book literally brought me so much encouragement and perspective! While I was reading, God gave me a better understanding of how He’s been preparing me for something bigger. I can’t say I know exactly what that “something bigger” looks like, but it helps to look back through time and see a picture coming together. 

It also gave me perspective on my current job – and how it is playing into this bigger picture.  I saw for the first time how a particular “gift” I’ve rejected and pushed away for YEARS can be used for His Glory.  And if I allow Him, He can use my “circumstances” to train me, grow me, and shape me into a beautiful vessel – a vessel designed to carry out my heart’s desire: city and cultural transformation. When life gets hard, I can grumble and complain and throw myself a pity party. Orrrrr….I can choose to focus my gaze on God, and be thankful that His ways and thoughts are higher than mine. He really does have my best interests in mind. He is FOR me, not against me.  He is a wonderful teacher! And sooo much fun! :) I’m excited to see where this new door of opportunity takes me this year!